For a long time I was upset about the way that my labor and delivery went with my little Daredevil. Then I said that we both survived so that in and of itself was enough. But then a friend told another acquaintance that even though her labor and delivery didn't go as planned, it was beautiful none-the-less. Those words really struck a cord with me and reminded me just how beautiful it all was....all the ways you could find God lurking in the corners making sure that everything played out exactly as he planned. My prayer my entire pregnancy was that my Daredevil would be ok, he would be safe and healthy and that if something had to go wrong that it would be me. That was my prayer and how awesomely did God deliver. It was me, but he carried me through that scary time anyway. What I expected of my labor and delivery were so vastly different from how they actually went, but it was beautiful and its mine. I wear my scar as a beautiful badge of honor that brought life into this world.
Parenting is full of these times of expectations getting thrown to the wind.... when your labor doesn't go as planned, when you end up in the hospital for 8 days. How about when you plan and shop for the perfect Christmas gifts for months to have a sick baby on Christmas morning who wants nothing more than to be held. A perfect Christmas, but not the one you planned. Or, when you plan to go to a family outing to end up with a sick kiddo so you have to turn back mid-way through the drive (or as Mr Tech Guy says, when we drive 3 hours for a soda). An unexpected surgery. A great playdate interrupted by teething or a bop on the noggin'. The day you hoped to get the house clean only to discover that this particular day your kiddo wants to be held or have you play the day away. When you do get to the store to find out your baby has had an explosion and you forgot an outfit change.
What I learned very quickly is that if you don't embrace what you're dealt with that day.... the illness, the clingyness, etc.... you miss a lot of the magic.
A very wise woman once told me that the days are long, but the years go quick and boy was she right. It seems like yesterday we brought Daredevil home from the hospital; small and fragile but strong all the same. Then I blinked and he's this strong-willed, hot-headed, inquisitive, curious, sensitive dude that's nearly half my height! Embracing the days that haven't gone as planned or completely de-railed has taken me a bit to adjust to but if I hadn't, I'd have missed some of our best memories... bundling up a sick baby to find the only open store in all of Madison to desperately search for Pedialite. Lazy lunch at the park because we couldn't get Daredevil to leave. Ordering pizza because Momma forgot to make dinner because we took such a long walk in the freezing cold only to realize that Daredevil lost his shoe somewhere along the route. Carrying your baby into Target in a scarf because he peed through his third pair of pants and you have to buy him new ones because you're two hours from home.
This life we live is a precious one. If you compare it to TV, movies, other people, or your own perceptions or expectations you could miss some of the best moments. Real life and real love is so much better than what you could dream up if you could just stop relating it to others or what you've "seen" on TV. Sometimes I wonder why that's so hard for me to get through my head. My senior AP Lit teacher told us that, that real love is so wonderful but that if you compare it to what you see on screen you'll always be disappointed. How true is that. I'll take my love story and my life with all its imperfections anyday.
If anyone is still reading this post out there, thanks. I just needed to ramble tonight. There is so much un-necessary hurt and disappointment in our society. I'm still so clueless why people like to compare their lives to others, TV families, etc. I'll save the post on why mothers pick on other mothers for another day... it's not like it's an easy job. And, I'm spent. Off to bed!
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