Owen -- 1 Month

Have I ever loved until now??? You are the most incredible thing ever. I think God's pretty incredible to make each baby so special and unique that every parent thinks their kid is the best. I know in my heart that you are just so incredible and that God picked you to bless us!

I want to remember everything in your first month... I don't want to forget any of the small fleeting moments that seem to pass in the night. More than anything, I want you to know how loved you are. How loved you WILL ALWAYS be. You are my heart. Your dad and I keep looking at each other and saying how awesome you are and wondering why we waited so long to have kids. I tell him that if we hadn't waited, we might not have you! This was all meant to be and obviously orchestrated by God to teach me some lessons and then bless me beyond imagination.

Sometimes when I'm holding you, I look at your sweet face, feel your sweet soft hands and listen to your deep breaths and I am so overtaken by emotion that I could burst out in tears or laughter at any moment. It's like my love for you needs to just burst out of my body because it is too much for me to feel.

During the first month of your life, you had your days and nights completely mixed up. You slept during the day and partied at night. Usually that meant you and I hung out in the living room while your daddy tried to sleep. Luckily, he was able to be home with us for most of your first month. I got to catch up on a lot of crappy TV (Kardashian's, GCB, etc). Not the best but it occupied the time when you'd fallen back asleep and I was wide awake. Your Gammy and Grandpa stayed with us for the first three weeks of your life before going back to Arizona. It was a big help to have them here while we got re-adjusted and I healed. Gammy fixed me the best meals so that you could have yummy milk!

Your fur-brothers all adjusted to you really quickly. Benton had a hard time learning and accepting all of the new sounds that we brought home -- the pump, the bp cuff, the toys, etc -- but after a few weeks he mellowed out. Phinneas is indifferent to you. He was more worried about me. It was like he knew something was different/wrong with me but didn't know what. He smelled you, licked you and was over it. You were family. Oliver LOVED you. He kissed you as much as we'd let him. He liked to sleep near you (wherever you were), he's a big fan of yours!

 Figuring out how to get you to sleep -- rather how I was comfortable with and where you should sleep -- was quite the challenge. During naps you typically were held or put in the rock n play sleeper in the living room with us. At night, we wanted to co-sleep but everything we bought to co-sleep we ended up not liking so you co-slept for awhile before we found a co-sleeper we did like. I think I wasted the most money trying to figure something out. I think it was more my issue or being uncomfortable with you in certain places than you not liking them. Trial and error... live and learn!

You aren't a big fan of swings or bouncers yet. You prefer a human. :)

You LOVE being held tight and snuggled. You are SO hot but you still like being wrapped up with blankets so we had to always have two fans on you! Considering it was February in Wisconsin, it was almost comical.

When you're sleeping deeply, you snore. It is the cutest, most relaxing sound ever. I recorded it once so I'd never forget it.

You have blue eyes! I hope they stay blue.

You actually love your carseat! You usually just fall asleep right away. We drove to the Pizza Ranch an hour and a half away (each way) this month to see your Nene and Grandpaw and you did great until we got about five minutes from home and then you just fussed because you were ready to get out of the car!

You are the sweetest, most laid back little thing ever.

You are growing like a weed.

We had a LOT of doctor appointments this month between the both of us!

You smell delicious! And even without lotion. You have this incredible baby Owen smell. I love smelling your head and kissing your forehead. Even Aunt Elaine said her shirt smelled like you after she held you one afternoon!

When I give you a bottle of mama's milk, I like to touch your nose. I don't think you like it, but I do!

You HATE being cold... so much that Gammy bought you a wipe warmer for your wet wipes. You actually love it and you don't mind diaper changes anymore. Definitely a good buy. Thanks, Gammy!

When Gammy went back to Arizona, we both missed her. A lot.

You are a big eater. When we came home from the hospital, I breatfed you with a shield. You would nurse, then I would pump and then we would supplement with the pumped milk in a bottle. One time you literally nursed almost three hours at one sitting. Feeding you is quite the challenge. Trying to pump, clean, nurse, etc. We're getting the hang of it but whew, quite a bit of getting used to. We are struggling to get that "fast and efficient" thing down pat. We've been to a lactation consultant A LOT.

This month went by so quickly. Honestly, I feel like all we did was eat, sleep, poop and survive this month. Both of us healed this month from our traumatic delivery. We visited lots of doctors. All in all, we learned each other this month. Each day we fell more and more in love with you even though it didn't seem possible that our love for you could actually grow. You are my heart. You are awesome. You are mine and I love you with all that I have.